Why do we experience what we might term as “negative” feelings when we were expecting relief?
Well, the first thing that comes to mind is the fact that your hopes and dreams of having a loving, long-term, stable relationship were shattered. There was a time, in the relationship, when you felt really connected to the other person and you were certain that things would work out. So experiencing disappointment when it didn’t work out is a normal human response.
What if you’d been thinking about breaking up for a while but put it off?
For example, what if the partner was abusive, cheated on you, had an addictive behavior problem, and the like? And you just hung in there longer than you felt you needed to. And now, after the fact, you’re beating yourself up, mentally and emotionally, because you are questioning yourself for staying in the relationship.
Please do some introspection and give yourself a break by realizing you had your reasons for staying. Perhaps you were waiting to see if the charming and loving person you fell in love with would make a reappearance and stay put. Most likely, this is exactly the reason you hung in there. In other words, you were being loving, caring and giving the other person a chance to redeem themselves. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with doing that. In fact, it’s quite an admirable attribute to have.
Are you afraid that you might never find true love and that you’ll be alone for the rest of your life?
Mostly, if this type of thought process is going on, it’s because your self-esteem has been undermined by said partner. It’s called “projection” and almost always happens because the person projecting the negatives about your worth are really the ones with the low self-esteem issues. They’re attempting to make themselves feel better by verbally abusing you. Again, the reality here is that you were probably the one with more inner strength and character and were being “attacked” for your inner power. This attacking is usually done by the assailant at a subconscious level.
May your learning experience bring you to a better and stronger future.