Everyone has their own unique personality. This is what makes people endearing, even interesting. However, if you are dating someone with narcissistic personality disorder, this ‘uniqueness’ goes far beyond a few quirks. This is an illness that can make relationships difficult, if not impossible, to manage.
If the person you are seeing is aware of their affliction, and is actively seeking professional help, that offers at least a glimmer of hope. People can change, but it requires effort, support systems and commitment to professional help. Exercise and eating correctly helps, but it is not sufficient. They must take on the difficult task of self-care in order to see any improvement.
If, however, the narcissist you are seeing is either unaware of their condition or unwilling to seek help, you are facing an epic dating disaster in the making.
How do you spot a Narcissist?
We’re not talking about a personality “quirk” or a few “flaws. We’re not talking about a personality type you do not like. What we’re talking about is someone who is so self-involved that they are incapable of love, empathy and the ability to discern truth. Lies are a hallmark feature of a narcissist. Their fibs are as big as their massive, yet fragile, egos.
People so afflicted are prone to fabricate lies even when it is neither necessary nor sustainable. Their delicate identities are held together by an overwhelming sense of entitlement. To keep such exaggerated self-esteem running, they are always on the search for praise and adulation. When they see their reflection, they see perfection and purpose. What matters to you is irrelevant. It is literally, lit-er-ally, all about them - never ever about you.
Manipulation is an artform for these personality types. They learn early how to craft whatever tools they have available to convince others into believing their version of the world is the truest version. They can distort reality in such a way that you will start to second guess yourself. Gaslighting comes as a second nature to them and with great ease, they can easily compel you to question your own reality.
How do you deal with this?
First off, you cannot expect to play their games and win. They can, and will, play with your feelings and emotions simply because they can. And if you try to outsmart them on their terms, you will lose every time. No matter what course you take, they can throw you a curve ball that sends you reeling. Guilt, love, reason and logic do not work. And if you ever do successfully argue with them and win, you will find they do not accept defeat. Rather, they will simply paint themselves as victims.
Considering this, what do you do?
There is not much to be done, except to leave and not look back. When it comes to a narcissist, love is a one-way boulevard, not a two-way street. No matter how much you love them, or want to, your love will never be returned. Your needs and wants will go ignored.
If you still just can’t stop loving a narcissist, you have to ask one profound question. That question is “Why do I love someone who will never ever love me back?”
Do you still have questions about dating a narcissist, or any questions about loving and dating a difficult personality? Contact Psychic Armin, or any of the talented Psychics and PathForward, and find greater clarity on the path ahead today.