The T.M.I. Dilemma - How Oversharing Can Spoil a First Date

Dating in the Smartphone Age, though uniquely convenient, does have its pitfalls. While cell phones and dating apps have made it easier for people to meet, they have also made it easier to share information; sometimes, far too much information. And this presents a real problem. Could you be sharing too much about yourself, even before your first date? 

When it comes to disclosing information about one’s self, particularly online, it really is a balancing act. One wants to share aspects of one’s life with family and friends and it is wonderful to be so open. On the other hand, an online account with any social networking site can provide a wealth of personal information to the outside world. Some do not think twice about listing their phone numbers, addresses and photos with friends and family. Some go much further. 

It is not uncommon for entire blogs to include extremely personal information and images for the entire internet to see and even comment upon. Smartphones and their ubiquitous cameras have made capturing private moments a fast process. Literally anyone can post text and images of compromising content online without censorship. You can share every aspect of your life online from what you had for breakfast to whom you had over for the night. You can even share a video them leaving. Yes, even the proverbial “walk of shame” can be now shared far and wide. 

In many ways, the world wide web makes sharing, watching and commenting on our personal lives a little too easy, which not only puts our personal info out into the actual real world where bad actors can take advantage of it, but can also make us less ‘reserved’ in a face-to-face meeting. 

That said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being authentic on a first date. Being honest is a virtue, after all. However, when you start to disclose intimate details of your life with people you hardly know, you not only put yourself at possible risk, you may turn people off. Being “Real” is a nice idea. However, being “Too Real” moves into the land of T.M.I. - Too Much Information.  

What may be appropriate for your therapist, close friends or a support group, may make a horrific impression on a first date. What most people expect on a first date is to meet someone nice, warm, welcoming and friendly. There is no expectation that you list every health issue you have ever had, or each relationship you had that ended in tragedy. No one is expecting an idealized version of your life, but they also aren’t looking for a laundry list of every horrible event that transpired in your life starting at age three.   

Rather than chat up your problems, focus on the positives. Do not immediately go into details that simply are not appropriate for a first meeting. When you overshare, you highlight your issues, not your triumphs. On a date you want to be seen as a human being first, not a collection of calamities. Carefully parsing out information permits you to shine bright and make a positive first impression. 

Still unsure about the best way to open up on a first date (without opening up TOO much)? Speak with a trusted Psychic Advisor (like me!) for insights into how to put you best foot forward. 

"Got questions? Allow me to enrich your life and provide detailed insight and answers from a compassionate and empathic perspective."  - Psychic Armin x4088